The unspoken strategy...

The Truth About My Own Journey

I myself went through a divorce. My psychology as a man drove me to see my relationship idealistically, which is a common occurrence among men. I jumped into relationships with a yearning for something that I probably didn't experience growing up: family love and parental togetherness. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing, no idea as to how a woman's psychology, in comparison to a man’s, actually worked because nobody in the mainstream was talking about it, at that time.

I realized further down the road that we live in a society that prefers not to expose female psychology and sexual strategy, and for many reasons. Ultimately, I came to believe that for the course of most of our history, female sexual strategy was primarily a secret. Which, of course, it would have been when we think back to the fact that we lived in tribes of up to 60 people, and procuring the best care for one's children necessitated mothers pairing with the best potential mate. There are so many facets of female psychology that we as men aren't aware of naturally. Think about all the books written in order to facilitate an understanding between couples—husbands and wives. Think about the countless times you've probably heard the words, "You're not listening to me."

If you’re in a relationship, the bottom line is that we have different forms of communication that purposely evolved into different ways of seeing the world. I believe that part of our purpose is bridging this gap, exploring this difference, and using it in a way that can benefit us both. To really get to the core of having a happy or successful relationship, one must know this. Because the reality is that the majority of therapists and counselors out there cast these differences aside in a plea to create unity. Unity isn't about assuming that people are the same; it's accepting our differences, understanding them, and then using them. It's like this modern concept of diversity and acceptance where they want to force people to be the same. I can guarantee you, understanding our differences makes everything much, much easier. The woman in my mind who seems crazy or is acting crazy is now understood. It is much easier for me to understand how to create a happy, successful relationship when I know what I am dealing with.

Believe it or not, women are pretty straightforward, and it's just our lack of understanding that ultimately makes them mysterious or confusing. To be frank, I find dealing with myself and my insecurities to be more confusing, To be totally honest, since exploring and becoming an expert in this field, women have become simplified for me, and that's what I want for everyone who is reading this and following my content. More success in your relationship, more sex, and more fulfillment. Ideally, it's something that we all need and want. I don’t think we have a choice either; the odds are stacked against us. But why?

The Stacking of the Odds

After my divorce, I wanted to master the dating scene so I could get full enjoyment while teaching people what I learned. What I encountered was my own weakness and realized it would be so powerful to put all of these truths in the same spot. I wanted to invest minimally and act minimally while dating, but have the most amount of fun. So I searched for a system that would work with everyone.

I was watching loads of men around me who had gotten married young but then divorced and thought that they, too, didn't have the right information, especially in the Jewish world where marriage and families take precedence, which made this reality even more astounding. Families were broken up, hearts were broken, and people (the men) were blindsided. I would watch men make the same mistake again and again, choosing the wrong people and allowing themselves to get emotionally connected to women too soon, making all the mistakes and shooting themselves in the foot.

I realized there were more single 40-year-old women than there were before, and therefore, the chances of having children with potentially unhealthy defects. In heterosexual marriages in the United States, women are reported to initiate approximately 70% of divorces. Some studies show this number increases to as high as 90% for college-educated women. This poll, which was referenced in several news articles and online forums, found that "nearly half" of women in relationships had a "Plan B" man, and that this was more likely for married women. Some of the articles based on this poll used the 70% figure, but the poll's original results were closer to 50%.

In most of these situations, it is the women who often become disinterested before their partners, and most guys would prefer to stick their heads under the rug or in the sand like an ostrich because it hurts. Why? Because I think the concept of love as we see society and culture present it goes against the fact that women ultimately have a natural instinct for hypergamy. Women also have a tendency for "monkey branching," and this is why we will see women find new partners immediately after a relationship, many of whom are already scoping out the new guy during their failed relationship. In my work, I have seen so many men blindsided in their marriages by women who just picked up and left. I'm not saying this is something to be angry about or something we need to be fearful of, but it is necessary because we need to be aware. It's this awareness that provides us with the capacity to make the right choices and use a system, which I have shared in The Mantidote, on how to attract women and keep them attracted.

The Evolution of Modern Dating

It's funny because as humans we still have the same needs that we have had for millions of years, yet everything around us is changing so rapidly. Each person still has the desire to be loved, the desire to be included. It often boggles my mind that the results of millions of years of evolution are now being directed into things we ultimately don't even realize.

The dynamics between men and women isn't something that has just come around. Just as with most creatures, we have the most basic desires in order to procreate, to continue our genes and have the best possibility for success while doing it. This kind of thing doesn't go away, but now bring in the technology of the 21st century—the internet, Tinder, and dating apps—and how do these two things impact each other?

We need to understand a little about how hunter-gatherer societies once worked. For the majority of our existence as humans, we were hunter-gatherers, and it was only up until relatively recently that the concept of land ownership came about. Tribes didn't truly own land; they moved from one land to the other, feeding off the growth. The transition from nomadic hunter-gatherer societies to settled agricultural communities, also known as the Neolithic Revolution, began approximately 12,000 years ago in the Fertile Crescent. This shift to farming necessitated the concept of land ownership, as people began to invest in and defend specific plots of land for cultivation and permanent settlement. The earliest recorded evidence of formal marriage ceremonies dates back to Mesopotamia around 4,350 years ago (around 2350 BCE). This institution was not primarily based on romantic love, but rather as a legal and social contract to establish clear lines of inheritance for property and to form strategic alliances between families. Therefore, the transition to land ownership occurred first, and marriage developed as a way to manage the new societal structures that emerged from this agricultural revolution. There was a period of roughly 7,700 years between the start of widespread land ownership and the first recorded instances of formal marriage.

In a tribal time, a woman would have pursued the man who would have been the best genetic option, and it was marriage that gave the average man the capacity to find a mate. This, in a sense, leveled the playing field as opposed to a select few males having access to many females. But what has happened during the Tinder era is that the dynamic has reverted to that. The best-looking men on dating apps will receive the most swipes, whereas other men will not. In a funny sort of devolutionary manner, we are going back to a society where it is the few men who are good-looking or have enough resources who have access to most of the women. I'm not saying this as a bad or good thing; I'm just observing this trend in the online space. This is why I think it's imperative for guys who are interested in upping their skills face to face—on the street, in the market, on the beach—because it is these skills that most men are losing. Having the ability and the courage to pick up a woman on the street will send you way beyond 98 percent of other men, trust me. This is basically where I have picked up most of my girlfriends, including my current one, easily.

My Call to Action

So, what I did is put a book together that would help guys in a systematic way that would help them both with their own traumas and give them direction in the dating game—literally the direction I needed myself. I am looking to share the information and launch a career using this stuff. I'm not perfect, I won't be perfect, but I do my best to work on the issues I have and hope that some of the things I've learned will impact you. Thanks for reading!

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